I recall Thomas Merton speaking of everyone having a Mystery within that no one can penetrate. So, to have a healthy, even reverent, relationship with another person, we respect that Mystery, rather than presume we can enter There. Yes, we are to reverence the other, as much as reverencing the Divine Presence, for he or she is the embodiment of that One.
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Contemplative Prayer, unlike what many call meditation, means this holy Meeting with the Mystery that is in some sense known in Its inaccessibility; that is, a Sacredness that in not being known about, rather one knows. And each meeting with this Grace is new and fresh, each Meeting as though never before happened. Some call this Mystery God, some call This by another word, or words. Yet, to place It outside ourselves is a mistake, for such perception betrays the intimacy that is so close most persons rarely seem to notice It.
In my being a Hospice Chaplain, I am daily blessed by this holy Meeting with others nearing death, and their loved ones. After over twenty years as a vowed Contemplative, I find myself still practicing and learning what it means to be present fully to another person. And being present is not merely about sharing a space or being conscious of being in proximity with another person. And this being-present is not merely about being focused on and attentive to, for in such the other remains an object I am acting toward. This Meeting is more, though varied degrees of a sense of separation and a sense of communion, yes, even union, can occur in any one encounter. No one can maintain, either, an affective sense of communion or union, precisely due to the limited capacities of being in this human body and that, anyway, both communion and union, the latter the primal ground of the former, are not states of emotion or emotional affection, but prior to and the precursor of. Such feeling-states can arise from, but do not source either togetherness or withinness, precisely because the body cannot be the determiner of Spiritual motive, action,or fruition.
To me, this being fully present entails being-with another, consciously choosing to have a heart-knowing that I am present with as Mystery with Mystery. I am not present simply as person to person, which is simply two personalities interacting. "Person," or the singular Self we each, and all, are, is the means to sense the Mystery-Within. "Person" is the means for the Mystery-Within to manifest. If I am to open to that Mystery-Within within the other, who is other only as arising from the timeless Self, or Oneness, I must be open to the Mystery-Within my own being giving Itself as a gift to the other, also.
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This Mystery, this Love, meeting Mystery, sharing Love, entails being inquisitive of and receptive to the Godness in the other. This is central to being Prayerful with others. Here, I know that all labels are a covering, a decoration, a veil over the Truth the other is, or that lives Within and shines through him or her. All labels - religion, race, gender, political, educational, job, single or married, widow or widower, ... - I can honor, but relax and allow the Grace, the Mystery, to shine through to me from the Heart the other truly, most deeply Is. I can relax my own attachment to identities of the other and myself - and any self of personal self is a collective of varied identities more or less harmonized into what we call "I" or "myself" - , and in that opening the other is invited to meet the Grace within me.
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Historically, many sacred shrines have had a most holy place. In Late Latin sanctum sanctorum is the "holy of holies," and this is from the Greek hagion ton hagion, again "holy of holies"; the latter is from the Hebrew qodesh haqqodashim, "holy of holies." These terms can be rendered the Most Holy Place. This Most Holy Place is the place, also, within everyone. Communion with another entails approaching that sanctuary within the other with respect that the Mystery is Holy. Likewise, we accept that Sacredness within us is holy also, regardless of what we have done or not done.
We can engage in prayer Silently, as more than being quiet, or not talking. This Silence and Stillness can be a way we are practicing recognizing and receiving this Mystery precisely in Its being Totally Other, therefore known intimately precisely in Its inaccessibility to our thought and oft to our natural affections. Then, we can practice this in daily life. As we do so with intent, this being present fully, Mystery with Mystery, becomes more natural to our way of being among others, more spontaneous, less of self, more of Grace - so, more Gracefull.
